This morning I carefully entered the dark bathroom to avoid tripping over the stool that’s usually left by the sink or toilet.
But it wasn’t there.

Yesterday (Sunday morning) when I first awoke, I rehearsed how much time it would take me to get ready for church, keeping in mind that a certain 4 yr old would need my help at the last minute.
But he wasn’t there.

As we rode the boats and floats last week, I looked for a sweet smiling face and listened for big laughter from a child.
But they weren’t there.

When I awoke later than usual last Friday morning, I wondered in my first moments of coherency when I would hear pitter-patter steps on our wooden staircase, coming down to wake me… MaMel ‘wake?
But they weren’t there. No steps. No voice. No smile.

The new normal isn’t as sad this week. That’s because it’s not yet the real new normal around here. With four out of my five wonderful kids here this week, the house is full of laughter and noises – that chaordic (ordered chaos) existence we have when everyone is around.
But soon, the new normal will set in with blunt force.

I am not sure I am ready for that blow.