Necessary Endings

Brent is reading a book by Henry Cloud called “Necessary Endings”. It’s a book about what we may need to give up in order to move forward in our life’s journey.
I’ve come to a place in my personal journey that is requiring just that: a necessary ending …
While I gladly accept social media as part of my present “reality” (tweets and Instagram and Snapchat can keep us all connected), these forms of social interaction can also keep some of us informed just enough to jump to conclusions, form reactionary opinions and sink deep into assumptions … none of which are based on actual reality.
Before opinions were so easily accessible; before reactions were so quickly shared; before we were all able to know what every person everywhere thought about everything, we lived with a certain amount of privacy … especially in our thoughts. And I don’t mean secrecy! I mean privacy. There is a huge difference.When we didn’t have the opportunity to quickly shoot off an email, or spout a rash post, or throw a “punch in the gut” via twitter, we all had more time to process and respond, rather than react. And when we could only interact face to face, we were less likely to do so with rude or angry speech and speculation. (At least for those of us who are Christ followers, this seems to be true.)

One of the main reasons I’m moving away from a more personal page on Facebook to a more general/public one is because I’m becoming too engaged and too involved in every status and comment and like. I’m aware that not everyone gets sucked in to this world, and for those who don’t, I applaud you! Reading what people post – what they think and like – does not have to be a negative. But for me it sometimes is. I personalize things that should not be personal. I ponder to a fault – sometimes with pride, assumption and judgment – what people say and then draw conclusion based on faulty information. The person sharing didn’t intend for it to be that way, but I received it wrongly.

Through the years, watching people say things through social media that they would not say in person, I have concluded that this can be positive sometimes. Some people are able to process ideas and give a thought-out response that they would find difficult or even impossible to do in person because of fear or intimidation.
Other people are not affected by this means of interaction at all. They are able to release or dismiss posts and comments with very little emotional disruption.
For me, I have found myself becoming more and more engaged (and sometimes a little enraged) at some of what is passed along, especially by those who consider themselves to be disciples of Christ.
For this reason and others, I’m choosing to restructure how I use FB.

Because I enjoy many things about Facebook, I do not want to distance myself from it altogether. Unlike some of you, the majority of my family and friends live far away from me. The introduction of Facebook, Instagram and SKYPE have connected me to those people in a new and wonderful way. I would miss that because I am blessed by much of what I read and see …
So, I’m hoping that through this process of tweaking, I’m going to find a way to use Facebook as a connection without it becoming an obsession. I don’t know if this move is actually the solution to that, but I am going to try it.
I welcome you to join me on my new page (the Facebook name to look for and “like” is Unchained Melodye, the same as my blog name). Also, please know that my life will continue to be an open book. 🙂 Please feel free to message me with prayer requests, insights, or questions. I am glad to dialogue in this way and I very much appreciate the opportunity to know how to pray for each other.
I also hope that you and others will benefit from what I pass on through my page. As I said, I’m not moving away from everything personal, but FB can often be a means to control what people think about me. If a person is really good at it, he/she can create a perfect family living a perfect life. I hope I haven’t done that, but I’m certainly capable of it.

Thanks for “doing life” with me through the pages of Facebook. While there is always something missing – that personal touch of face to face interaction – I still believe there are many benefits to online community and connection. It is very likely that, this side of heaven, I may not have the opportunity to actually (in the flesh) interact with some of you with whom I’ve made re-connections via FB through these past few years. So for that, I’m thankful for what FB has brought into my life.

To put it simply, this change is my attempt to pursue peace, build up others and not offend my own conscious.
“So then, let us pursue what makes for peace and for building up one another. Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food. For although all things are clean, it is wrong to cause anyone to stumble by what you eat. It is good not to eat meat or drink wine or to do anything that causes your brother to stumble. The faith you have, keep to yourself before God. Blessed is the one who does not judge himself by what he approves. But the man who doubts is condemned if he eats, because he does not do so from faith, and whatever is not from faith is sin.”

2 thoughts on “Necessary Endings

  1. Natalie

    Melodye, thanks for sharing your heart, and thanks for not moving completely away from fb! I feel like I am just now discovering something special in some of the thoughts you are blogging that I missed before, and I'm hoping to see more of them in the future. I definitely pray this change gives you the needed peace, too!


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